Day 17

All of my children are over 18 and under 25.

This means I am experiencing some new territory as a parent.  To say my shoulders are burdened would be an understatement.

Oh for the days of diapers, bottles, strollers and lack of sleep….that was easy in comparison to now.

Yesterday one of my “adult” children said something so hurtful about me that I went to bed wondering if I could even breathe another breath.  Hot tears soaked my pillow as I heard their words echo in my head.

My child, for whom I prayed, gave birth, suffered for, and reared to serve God, said I did not love them like I love my other children.

Honestly, they may as well have balled up their fist and punched me because that is what the words felt like.  A punch.  My spirit felt mauled by their words.  I felt like shriveling up inside and dying.

I went through so many emotions as I considered why they said what they did:

  • Shock – What?  Me?  Why would they even think that?
  • Anger – How dare they accuse me, their MAMA!
  • Sadness – What kind of mom am I that one of my offspring feels overlooked?
  • Self examination – Is there an area I need to change?

My mind put these questions on a hamster wheel and I chased after a conclusion and got nowhere by sunrise.  So I went to the Word.

Yesterday my post was on Jehovah-jireh.  Today is evidence in my life that, once again, true to His Word, God provided what I needed as a broken-hearted mama.

Many of you have been in my shoes.  The circumstances and words may have been different, but when our offspring rise up and accuse in hate when we expect them to rise up and bless us, is a hurtful moment.  So, what should we do?

The enemy will want to use it in our lives to put us out of commission for the day. (Trust me, the thoughts of giving up this blog and hiding under a comforter for the day ran through my head)

But God taught me something and I am going to make the choice to dwell in Him, even while my heart is trampled. His Word has already had a healing effect this morning and I can hear the old spiritual being sung in my heart, yes, there is a Balm in Gilead.

“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.”

Titus 2:11-14

You may be asking yourself what that passage has to do with my plight, so let me show you.

The Scriptures says, “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men”  God in His sovereignty freely offers and gives us something we have never and WILL NEVER deserve.  He freely offers us His Son, our salvation.

God didn’t ask us to do anything, Grace is His UNMERITED favor.  As J. Vernon McGee says, “God is not trying to reform you, He wants to redeem you.”

And He offers it to EVERYONE EQUALLY.

When I read earlier in chapter two where the aged women are to teach the younger women to love their children.  I wept.  I DO love my children.  I love them with a FEROCIOUS love!  But when I got down to verse eleven, I realized how often I must wound God with my lack of belief in HIS love and grace.

God has never been anything less than good in my life.  He has allowed things to happen that I don’t understand, but I can attest to the fact that He never left me alone during those times and hard moments.  Even last night, I felt Him trying to speak over the den of the accusations from the devil and His Word won my spiritual battle.

When we don’t trust God and His promise of provision, we are in essence telling Him that He doesn’t love us like He does so and so down the road that has it way better than we do.  When we begin unwisely comparing our lives with someone else, we are acting like a petulant child demanding Him to offer us more than what is already perfectly given.

I know that I love my children equally.  How do I know?  Because I can’t love them any more than I already do and I can’t love them any less.  I simply love them.

And if that, my friend, is how I can love in my human flesh, imagine how God must love us.  He loves us with a perfect love.  He has not appeared to just you and offered you His grace and salvation, He has appeared to ALL men.  It is available to all who will believe.

My child needs some extra attention today.  They don’t need a thump on the head, they need my embrace.  If they choose not to accept it, it still won’t keep me from offering it.

When you pout and stomp your foot at God, it doesn’t change the fact that He still loves you and has your best interest in mind.  How about not sulking in His presence but opening your eyes to Who He really is.

  •  I John 4:16 – God is Love.
  • Romans 8:39 – Nothing can separate us from His Love.
  • Ephesians 2:4 – God’s love for us is a GREAT love.
  • John 3:16 – God loves the WHOLE world.  He loves everybody.

Tomorrow I am going to further this study and I hope you will come back and dwell with me in some precious thoughts in His Word.

Until Next Time, Lord willing,



Today’s reading: Genesis 30 – 31 / I Samuel 19 / Psalm 17 / Matthew 18




2 thoughts on “Day 17

  1. Sharon Loyd

    This kind of journey is life or death to truth which can grow to heights you cannot even imagine. I love you. We can accept love and we can give love. Both are choices; individual choices. It is life “to love” or death “to love.”


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